When Is the Right Time for Meeting the Parents? (2024)
by Suzanne Sachs • 5 min read
THE BASICS --
Meeting the parents is a critical step in any relationship, and has to be timed well to ensure a couple can build a supportive and happy connection to the people who may one day become their in-laws. But exactly when is the right time for that meeting?
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW--
In this guide, we will explain the following:
- Are You Ready To Meet The Parents?
- Consider A Pre-Meeting
- Best Time To meet the Parents
- Worst Time To Meet The Parents
- There May Be No Perfect Time
Are You Ready to Meet the Parents?
Before meeting your significant other's parents, it is important to feel secure in your relationship, to know that you are committed to one another and the possibility of moving forward with a long-term arrangement. Once you know each other well enough to feel comfortable with that commitment, it is certainly time to consider meeting each other's parents.
It is also important to understand, however, that everyone has a different relationship with their own parents. For some individuals, this may be a very close and supportive friendship, while for others it may be a more distant and restrained connection. It is critical that you respect the type of relationship your partner has with their parents, and understand that it may not be the right time to meet their parents, even if you feel it is time for them to meet your parents. These two meetings do not have to be close together, but each must feel appropriate in their own time.
Also consider how close your parents are in your own life. If you confide in your parents often and have a very good mutual relationship, an earlier meeting with your partner may be best or your parents could feel left out. On the other hand, if your relationship with your parents is a more casual, distant one, a later meeting with your partner is likely to be more appropriate.
Finally, be sure you feel that both you and your partner are prepared for your respected meet-the- parents moments. This could mean “briefing” your partner on favorite or not-so-favorite topics of conversation, idiosyncrasies, or other details, such as how to dress for that best first impression, whether or not to bring a nice-to-meet-you gift, or if you should prepare for a well-meaning inquisition of sorts. Understanding what to expect can help you both feel more comfortable at this important moment.
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Consider a Pre-Meeting
For some couples, a pre-meeting could be a good way to ease into a new relationship with your partner’s parents. This might be a quick introduction, such as a friendly hello when leaving for a date when being on time is critical so the meeting can’t be longer than a few minutes. Another option could be to meet just one parent first, which may be ideal if both parents aren’t as comfortable with the new relationship. A pre-meeting might also be a phone call or virtual meeting for parents at a distance, when an in-person meeting might not be as easy to arrange.
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Best Times to Meet the Parents
Choosing the best time for meeting the parents can be tricky. While it should be early enough in the relationship that the parents don’t feel excluded, it also shouldn’t be so early that your partner feels pressured or the situation is awkward.
The exact timing will vary from couple to couple depending on each family’s individual circumstances. Ideally, try to arrange that meet-the-parents moment at a relatively neutral time, when everyone can be relaxed, such as when work and school schedules are lighter and more flexible. Meeting for a casual lunch or dinner can be a good setting, with enough time for introductions and conversation without distractions. Be mindful of the surrounding schedule, and choose a time when no one will feel rushed, pressured, or distracted by other commitments.
Worst Times to Meet the Parents
Just as important as setting a good time to meet the parents is to know when not to meet them. Avoid highly stressful times, such as busy family holidays – while it may seem ideal for your partner to meet the whole extended family at once, it can quickly become overwhelming and awkward, especially for a relatively new relationship. Similarly, avoid any time when someone – you, your partner, or any parents – may be overly stressed at work or undergoing a personal issue, such as illness.
There May Be No Perfect Time
There is no one single time that can be considered ideal to meet your partner’s parents, or to have them meet your parents. Every relationship is unique, not only between two special people, but also between each individual and their parents. Some couples may be happy to meet parents sooner, while others may prefer to wait until later, and for some couples, such meetings may never take place at all. Only you and your partner can determine what is best for your relationship and the people who will be part of your overall circle. Choosing a parent meeting time that will respect everyone and allow different relationships to grow and flourish is not easy, but it will be worthwhile as you build your life together.
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Suzanne Sachs
Suzanne has always believed vintage rings can change lives. She's been in the jewelry industry for over 35 years, working with vintage jewelers, diamond dealers, diamond cutters, and gemologists. Suzanne started Artdecodiamonds in 2000 and understood the demand for vintage rings throughout the world. She ultimately started VintageDiamondRing.com in 2014, and understands each vintage ring is a reflection of you – your history, your relationships, your style, your elegance and is honored to have the opportunity to help you showcase your flair in a unique and exquisite way.
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