Should I Pick Out My Wedding Ring With My Partner?

Home — VDR.com Blog

by Suzanne Sachs — 5 min read

THE BASICS --

Choosing a wedding ring is a monumental decision, one that will reflect your commitment to your partner for years, even decades to come. But should you pick out your wedding ring with your partner, make the selection on your own, or let your partner surprise you? The answer will be different for every relationship, but depends on a variety of factors.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW--

In this guide, we will explain the following:

• Who Should Choose The Wedding Ring?
• Who Is Paying For The Wedding Ring?
• Does The Wedding Ring Need To Match The Engagement Ring?
• Does The Couple Want Matching Wedding Rings?
• Is The Engagement Ring An Heirloom
• If You Don't Pick Out The Wedding Ring Together
• Shopping Together But Keeping The Wedding Ring A Surprise
• Choosing A Wedding Ring

Who Should Choose the Wedding Ring?

Who chooses the wedding ring will vary in different relationships. For some couples, it is a mutual decision to select wedding rings together, while some individuals prefer to be surprised with a ring chosen by their partner. In other couples, one individual may prefer to choose based on their own jewelry preferences, or the couple may seek opinions from other friends and family members about ring design and style. Regardless of who chooses the ring, there are some factors that should be considered when making that choice.

Who Is Paying For The Wedding Ring?

Ideally, whoever is paying for the wedding ring or rings could have at least some small say in the investment, such as what retailer may be preferred, overall budget, or ring design. Money can always be a tricky topic, however, and should be approached carefully to ensure everyone is happy with the ring choice.

“Suzanne was amazing! I utilized the layaway service and it was a breeze. Ring made its way to Texas and was even more gorgeous in person."
— Chloe G verified buyer

Does the Wedding Ring Need to Match the Engagement Ring?

If the two rings are purchased independently but will be worn together as a set after the wedding, it is important that the look between them be cohesive. A couple may want to choose the wedding ring together if this is the case, so it can be tried on with the engagement ring to ensure a coordinated pairing.

 

“I've purchased two vintage rings from Suzanne over the past decade and my wife has loved both. Great service, communication and speedy delivery.”

— Lee S verified buyer

Does the Couple Want Matching Wedding Rings?

If both partners will wear wedding rings and would like the two pieces of jewelry to match, they should both have a say in the ring style. Choosing the wedding rings together is a great way to ensure both individuals’ preferences are honored with the choice that will represent their union.

Is the Engagement Ring an Heirloom?

If the engagement ring is an heirloom from either family, it is good to include those family members in the wedding ring choice if possible, especially if the engagement ring and wedding ring will be soldered together into a single piece. At the very least, the partner whose family provided the ring should be involved in the decision. Regardless of who will ultimately choose the wedding ring or whether or not the couple makes the decision together, the style preferences of the wearer should be the first priority in selecting a ring they will love and cherish.

“Suzanne was amazing! I utilized the layaway service and it was a breeze. Ring made its way to Texas and was even more gorgeous in person."
— Chloe G verified buyer

If You Don’t Pick Out the Wedding Ring Together

If a couple is choosing their wedding ring or rings together, it is easy to ensure that their style preferences are met and they love the rings they select. If you plan to let your partner choose the ring without you, however, be sure they are aware of either any must haves or any potential deal-breakers with respect to the ring's style. Some basic guidelines will help them feel comfortable in choosing a ring that will be enjoyed and appreciated.

Also be sure the ring's size is appropriate. If they don't know your ring size, either tell them the appropriate number (though sizes can vary based on where and when a ring, especially an antique wedding ring, may have been crafted), or give them a ring that fits well to take along for a size comparison. Any jeweler will be able to use an existing ring to get an accurate size measurement.

“I've purchased two vintage rings from Suzanne over the past decade and my wife has loved both. Great service, communication and speedy delivery.”

— Lee S verified buyer

Shopping Together But Keeping the Wedding Ring a Surprise

If you want to shop for a wedding ring with your partner but ultimately keep the exact ring selection a surprise until the special day, there are ways you can do so. Shop early — months before the wedding – and choose several rings that you like, but let your partner make the final decision without telling you.

You can also choose the exact ring together, but once it is purchased, store it in a secure place and stay away from the ring. Do not try it on periodically, don’t take or share any photos, and don’t return to the jewelry store for more browsing. You will likely forget the exact details of the ring before the wedding, and therefore just how lovely it is will still be a surprise during the special moment of your vows.

Choosing a Wedding Ring

Your wedding ring is arguably the most important piece of jewelry you or your partner will ever purchase. Unlike the engagement ring, which is a promise of vows to come, the wedding ring is the embodiment of those actual vows – the personal, romantic, and legal commitment you make to that one special person. Whether you choose the ring together or not, be sure it is a piece you will love and that you will love to wear for many happy anniversaries to come.